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During my years of work as a retirement community executive, I had many opportunities to observe the residents file to their Bingo, Baggo, and Bunco games on a weekly basis. I would often hear them complain about the routine, boredom, and a lack of variety with the activities. I thought to myself, “What a terrible waste! These men and women have worked all of their lives to enjoy retirement. Why shouldn’t it be accompanied by a sense of fulfillment and maybe some adventure?”

Have you really taken a step back and thought about what you’d like to do during your retirement? While it’s OK to sit back and enjoy that Bingo game, you may want to consider something more challenging from a physical (if you can) and mental standpoint. It might be time to do a bit of soul searching and re-visit a hobby that you were passionate about, or find a new one.

I “retired” from my hobby of tap dancing for 20 years. Eleven years ago, I returned to it because I was forced to participate in a mandatory employee talent show at the retirement home. I can’t pull rabbits out of a hat or tell jokes, so I returned to the only thing I knew well. After resuming my lessons, my teacher encouraged me to enter my first competition at age 43. I won a gold medal! At age 49, I won my first platinum medal while competing against 25 women who were less than half my age. I was named by the judges as the overall winner out of 300 contestants. Competing was tiring from a physical and mental standpoint. Yet, I felt a sense of satisfaction from the challenge. During the same year, I was cast in a small part in The Nutcracker. I’m 51 years old and teach tap and ballet to children on a part-time basis. I watch my students compete with the same sense of pride (and an occasional tear) as when I was competing. I was able to realize a dream that subconsciously I didn’t know I had. I now teach tap and ballet to Alzheimer’s residents.

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“Delaying a loved one’s move to a long term care community might not be a good decision in the long run.”

The decision to move a senior to an assisted living community or nursing home can be an unpleasant experience. Because our parents took care of us, it is a decision laden with guilt. Children often enter a state of denial with thinking the parent is “doing just fine.” Reality may be the opposite situation. Deferring the decision seems to be a good short-term decision; but, in actuality, it may be placing the loved one’s health and finances in jeopardy. It never hurts to do some thinking or pre-planning about what may happen down the road.

While I’m not an advocate of moving a senior before they are ready, let me share some experiences that I’ve encountered with my clients:

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“Assisted Living Programs offer a wide variety of services and pricing, no two of which are identical.”

Prospects will often call me and open the conversation by saying something like, “My mother needs some assistance.” A statement such as this one can mean anything. Assisted living actually means the next level of care that is necessary when the senior is no longer completely independent. Specifically, he/she needs some help with activities of daily living: eating, bathing, dressing, walking, transferring, and toileting. This is not hands-on care. It is stand-by assistance. For instance, the aide will not give a loved one a full bath or shower. The aide will stand by and watch the senior take their shower. The aide will hand the senior the soap and towel. The assistant will not scrub the person down. People have a lot of misconceptions as to what “assisted” really means.

According to the Assisted Living and Shared Housing Establishment Code in Illinois, the personnel requirements to qualify for assisted living are:

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“True or False: Medicaid does not pay for assisted living?”

When I deliver the assisted living segment of my group presentations, the audience is often unaware that Medicaid offers a program that pays for assisted living. It is called the Supportive Living Program. Assisted living is the next highest level of care above independent living where the senior needs some help with his or her activities of daily living: bathing, dressing, walking, eating, transferring, and toileting. It is stand-by assistance not hands-on assistance. If a senior is paying privately for assisted living, the costs can range from approximately $3,800 to $6,000 a month. The Supportive Living Program is a wonderful alternative for low-income seniors who cannot pay privately for the assisted living level of care and are not yet ready for nursing home placement.

Here are the requirements for admission to supportive living:

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I’m pleased to introduce my monthly newsletter, “Senior Living Moments–Words to the Wise.” My clients, contacts and associates have suggested that I provide tips on how to demystify what can be a daunting task: dealing with the issues of an elderly relative or friend.

“Boomer Bind”

More than 44 million Americans help to care for or support an elderly loved one, and many of these caregivers are employed. Not everyone is easily able to cope with what I call the “Boomer Bind,” juggling a job, personal life, and caring for an elderly person. It’s never easy when the children live far away; there aren’t enough siblings to share in these responsibilities, or there is no firm caregiving plan in place.

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Happy Holidays! My very best wishes to you and your loved ones for a blessed and prosperous new year.

The holidays are a time to celebrate with family and friends. It is also a time when families might observe that their loved ones’ health is declining. With these observations comes the stress of thinking ahead to the future. And the one thing folks might begin thinking about is choosing the right long-term care community or home care option for a loved one. There is also added concern about how the loved ones’ care will be financed. Here is a snapshot of the types of long-term care options available and their approximate costs:

Independent Living Communities – The senior can function on his or her own, but may receive help with housekeeping and meals. The cost runs about $1,500 to $3,000 per month, depending upon the community.

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